28-Jul-2024

The Inner Bitch

Have you ever thought about and liked doing something very much but you were too tired to do it? have you ever planned to do shit and at the end of the day you decided "maybe next time, or tomorrow"? have you ever thought one day I'm gonna become this or that and I KNOW IT! or thought we're doing this the next hour and didn't do shit in any of the scenarios above? your answer for sure is "yeah" and congratulations, let me introduce you to the inner bitch.

If you haven't met this bitch, the you've successfully become him without even noticing it. IF you HAVE noticed this inner bitch, then you have a choice of becoming the inner bitch voluntarily or making the inner bitch your slave (the option I urge you to choose).

This is the bitch that puts you down, and this bitch might even think he's doing it for you (think evolutionarily, maybe this bitch is trying to conserve your energy and avoid risks, prolong your lifespan) but we're living in the modern world and it's not that easily to *just die* than it was 300,000 years ago. Man it is hard to go against your evolution, something that was programmed in you probably for 300,000 years. but yeah, this is no excuse to let the inner bitch become one with you.

Sure, the inner bitch can happen due to other serious medical issues, we're not talking about that here, this is the inner bitch in the normal you. My inner bitch have made me hate myself looking in the mirror numerous times, and it's hard fighting this inner bitch but I guess it's just what you have to do.
Step one is realizing the inner bitch exists, and everything that has happened before is your fault and nobody else's. Step 2 is learning to live with the inner bitch, here's a fact about bitches: you can't really get rid of them, you just learn how to live with them.

I have been fucked over and over again by this inner bitch but what works for me, how I deal with him is simply thinking to myself "One day, or day one, motherfucker". A quote I heard a random 22 year old once say on stream and that "clicked" in my head. I resonated with that shit so hard cause I HAVE been thinking that exact thing, inreverse. Thinking ONE DAY I will be that. One day I will do it, one day one day...etc. but that quote was like a "hack" or solution to this biological problem. The mind is just a fucking fascinating neural network. Why did that even work? but yeah that's another subject for another day.

Don't let the inner bitch fuck you over, instead fuck the inner bitch. To fucking inner bitches 🍻